Happy New Year!

I'm still not sure how I feel about the New Year!

I am excited, while I am also sad.

I should be in between 15 and 18 weeks pregnant.

I should be planning a baby shower, looking at cute baby clothes, and getting giddy over finding out the sex of my child.

I should have a cute little baby bump, and I should be picking out maternity clothes.

Instead, all I have are pictures, memories, and the 6 to 8 pounds that I gained during my short 12 week pregnancy.

I have grief, sadness, anger, disappointment, and jealousy, but I also have comfort, love, support, happiness, and joy.

I have some of the best family and friends anyone could ask for.  My fiance is wonderful.  And, I have met so many other women like me.  Women who have had miscarriages or lost their children in other ways.  Women who offer words of encouragement, comfort, and support.

But, most of all, I have God.  And, He is always on my side.  Even when I stray, He stays.  He waits.  And, He is always there!

I want to thank all of these people.  I have personally (or as personally as I can) thanked most of them.  But, without these people, I don't believe that I would be where I am today.  So, thank you!  From the bottom of my heart, I appreciate what you have done for me!

I may not be pregnant.  I did have a miscarriage, and my child went to Heaven, but it is a blessing to know that Bo is with God right now.  And to know that when the time is right, I will be blessed with another pregnancy and a child.

While this New Year is a sad time for me, it is also a happy time.

A time to move forward.  To help others.  To offer comfort and support.  To continue to heal.  A time to live my life with my fiance, enjoy each other, and enjoy all of the blessings that we have been given.

So, Happy New Years!

May God bestow many blessings and miracles upon you this year!