Monday, January 21, 2013

Two Months

Some days it feels like it was just yesterday, while other days I feel like it has been forever.  Today, I am having both of these feelings, which is weird.  I cannot believe it has been two months because it feels like it just happened, while it also seems like it was so long ago and just a distant memory.

Today is Bo's two month Angelversary.  He is celebrating his second month in Heaven with all of the other Angels, Jesus, and God.  I know my brother and papa are looking over him up there until I can get there!

This morning, when I woke up, I did not want to get out of bed.  I seriously debated sleeping all through the day until tomorrow arrived.  I did not feel good at all.  I did not get much sleep, my throat has been so sore, and I have been running a slight fever everyday this week, not to mention the cramps and twinges that I have been having in my lower abdomen.  BUT, my wonderful fiance mentioned pancakes.  And, I wanted some.  So, I got out of bed.

I got a cup of coffee, and shortly after I woke up, my fiance started making pancakes, which most of them turned out disastrous.  {Let me just mention, he is awesome at making pancakes, so this was unusual.  We think we need new pans!}  But, he did get one pancake to turn out okay.  And, that was all I needed.

My horrible cutting skills, but this is Bo's 2 month Angelversary pancake that we shared.

After eating pancakes, I went back to bed.  I napped for about 3 to 4 hours, when I woke up sobbing.  I had a horrible dream, where I was so upset and sad about today, and I had nobody to talk to.  It seemed like nobody cared or wanted to listen to me.  Then, a women (that I do not know) grabbed me and hugged me.  She was talking to me, telling me everything is okay, and she helped me to feel better.  When she hugged me and was talking to me, I immediately thought of the support groups that I have joined and all of the other BLMs that I have connected with.  I thought about how they all make me feel better.  How I do not know these women, but they are able to give me hugs (virtual hugs, but they are still hugs) and talk to me, encourage me, support me, and comfort me.  So, even though I was still crying, upset, and disoriented, I was also calm, at ease, and felt very peaceful.

Tonight, I decided to take pictures of the moon and Jupiter and Bo's candle.  Something that really calmed me down.  I am forewarning you, there is a picture frenzy below!

Jupiter is top-right of the moon.  I noticed after I took the pic and was looking over them, the swirlies in the bottom-left of the picture.  It made me think of an Angel flying around up there.

The best picture I got of the moon and Jupiter.  The wind was blowing so hard, and it was chilly, so I was shaking.  So that is why all of the others are so blurry and swirly!

Zoomed in and cropped the best picture, so that the moon and Jupiter are more visible.

Bo's candle sitting by a tree.

With the flash.

 Dear Bo,

Mommy and Daddy love and miss you very much!  We can't wait until we can meet you, see you, touch you, hug you, kiss you, and talk to you!  Until that day, please watch over us, keep us safe, and guide us where we need to go!

We love you, Bo, our perfect Angel!


  1. Much Love, Hugs and Prayers Kayla!
    I know what you are going through, there are some days that I still feel that way.

    I love the photos of his candle... so pretty!

    1. Kyla,

      Thank you so much! Sending you love, hugs, and prayers, as well! Thanks again!

  2. Thanks for sharing your story. I pray you are strengthened each day. It makes me smile knowing one day I see & hold my angel baby. Blessings to you.

    1. LaTonia,

      Thank you for the prayers! I always try to think of the same thing, "One day I will get to meet, see, and hold Bo!" Prayers and blessings for you, as well!