Thursday, January 10, 2013

Walking With You: Introduction & Where I am Now

So, for the next 6 weeks (1 post a week), I will be linking up with Sufficient Grace Ministries for the Walking With You Series.


The topic this week is:

January 7, 2013 ~ Introduction and Where are You Now?
Tell us a little about yourself, your baby, and how you've come to this walk.  Also, where are you now in your grief and healing?  Are you new to this, still in the depths of fresh grief?  Have you been walking the path awhile?

I am Kayla Yow.  I am 26 years old.  I live in California with my fiance, but I am originally from North Carolina.  If you would like to know more about us and how we met, you can read the posts, A Boy & A Girl and How We Met.

Our baby's name is Bo Ortiz.  I was only 9 weeks pregnant when I had a miscarriage.  We were not able to find out the sex of our baby, but we wanted him or her to have a name and a Certificate of Life

We were overjoyed when we found out we were pregnant, so we told everyone, not realizing that about 8 weeks later we would be telling everybody that our baby had went to Heaven.

My miscarriage happened on 11/21/12, a day I will never forget.  Some days it feels like it has been years since it happened, while other days it feels like it just happened yesterday.

The grief is overwhelming some days.  There are triggers that set it off, like seeing someone announce that they are pregnant, seeing ultrasound and baby bump pictures, hearing a certain song, and  even going to the grocery store.

But, the healing is there, too.  I have God, my fiance, my mom, family, friends, online support groups, and many other women I have met who have traveled this journey as well.

I know I just have to take it one day {sometimes even one hour} at a time.

10 comments:

  1. Hi Kayla. Glad to have you walking with us. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby, Bo. My brother wanted to name his son, Bo. Made me smile to read that sweet name. :)

    Praying God's peace and comfort for you both...

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    1. Kelly,

      Thank you! And yes, we love the name Bo. I don't know if you read about it, but it came from his initials, since we always called him Baby Ortiz. It fit perfectly!

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  2. Kayla, so glad that you joined this walk. It's my prayer that you are able to find some healing during this walk with all of us, and in sharing your story. I think sharing the life of your child is one of the most important things in healing. Acknowledgment....

    It's okay to take one hour at a time. God will carry you when it gets overwhelming....

    Blessings...

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    1. Jennifer,

      Thank you! I am happy to be on this walk with all of you! I agree that acknowledgement and sharing Bo's story are helping and healing.

      And, yes, taking it one hour at a time is necessary some days. I try to always think about the poem, "Footprints in the Sand," when it gets tough. I know Jesus is carrying me when I can't carry myself.

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  3. Im so glad to be on this journey with you and I am looking forward to walking with you. <3

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    1. Kyla,

      Thank you! I am happy we are on this journey together as well! It is nice to have others who understand, although I wish none of us had to understand this feeling! <3

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  4. Thank you for joining in with us. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. There are certainly so many triggers out there. I hope that in time those triggers happen less for you. I have found that to be true for me, but they do still happen.

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    1. Holly,

      Thank you for welcoming me and for your kind words! I have noticed that the triggers only happen every now and then, not all the time, so I do believe as time goes on they will make me think about Bo, but I won't be running away from the baby aisle in the grocery store anymore! I know I will always remember him and grieve for him, but I certainly do hope the pain eases as each day passes.

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  5. Kayla, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Bo. It hurts. So glad you are finding comfort in this community.

    I don't know the sexes of my babies either, miscarried at 17 and 14 weeks, though I think my first little one was a girl and my second little one a boy. And that's hard, too.

    I'm glad to be on this walk with you, as we support one another on our journeys. There is always more healing to do.

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    1. Thank you, Karin. I am very sorry for your losses as well. It is great to have such a supportive community of women who know what it is like. Thanks again!

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