6 Months

Bo's 6 Month Angelversary was May 21!

All day long I was fine, until later that night, I was thinking about him, as I often do.

I just broke down in tears.  All I could think about was how I should be 38 weeks pregnant, ready to give birth to my beautiful baby boy! 

It is all I have been thinking about since his 6 month Angelversary!

I was able to order two beautiful pictures {one for my baby boy & one for my brother}, since I won a gift certificate from Catherine @ The Sacred Seashore.

Bo's beautiful sunset on the beach photo from The Sacred Seashore! <3

James' beautiful sunset beach photo from The Sacred Seashore!


I love these photos!  They are both so gorgeous!

My fiance picked Bo's photo out {and I think he made an awesome choice}!

Mommy & Daddy love & miss you, Bo!  Until we meet again, baby boy!

5 Months

April 21st was Bo's 5 Month Angelversary.  It was a peaceful day for me.  I honestly didn't even realize what day it was until later on in the night.

I spent all afternoon taking, editing, and e-mailing photos for some other wonderful BLMs.

The wind kept blowing, so the origami kept flying around all over the place.  All I kept thinking while the wind was blowing is that our Angels are watching over me as I take these photos.  {And, they are playing tricks on me!}

Bo, I think about you so often.  Everyday in fact.  You are my baby.  You are my son.  I will think of you everyday, until we meet again!  I love you, baby boy! <3

4 Months

Yesterday, 3.21.12, was Bo's 4 month Angelversary.

I had been thinking about it coming up, but I didn't even realize it when the day got here.

I have to say, it is getting easier.  I guess that means I am healing.  Not forgetting.  But, learning to live this new life.

I still hurt.  Some days it still seems unbearable.  Other days, I am fine.  I know where Bo is, and I know I will see him again someday.

Yesterday, I received my ribbon from Gianna's Light.

The ribbon is so beautiful! <3

Then, today I got my bear from Project B.E.A.R.

It is so soft and cuddly! <3

I am happy to have gotten both of the items.  The items that I have gotten so far are really helping me to heal.  And, I am also happy to be healing.

I will never forget my baby.  I will always remember and honor his life.  My heart will always have a piece that is missing.  That is, until I get to Heaven with my baby.

Three Months

Bo has now been in Heaven for longer than he was on earth.
For longer than he spent in my womb.

It has been 13 weeks and 1 day since my miscarriage.
I would be 25 weeks pregnant today.

Today, I should be registering gifts for my baby shower.  Planning the details, like what food would be served, what the theme would be, and who to invite.

Instead, I had a memorial for my baby boy.  I spent time thinking about him and doing things in his memory.

Brick Wall picture I did for Bo <3

Bo's origami coyote I made him

Bo's pebbles <3

Bo with his coyote

Bo's memory box I made him

 

Bo's memory box full of the special items

Bo's table

We love and miss you, Bo!  We think of you each and every day.
Happy 3 month Angelversary, baby boy! <3

Two Months

Some days it feels like it was just yesterday, while other days I feel like it has been forever.  Today, I am having both of these feelings, which is weird.  I cannot believe it has been two months because it feels like it just happened, while it also seems like it was so long ago and just a distant memory.

Today is Bo's two month Angelversary.  He is celebrating his second month in Heaven with all of the other Angels, Jesus, and God.  I know my brother and papa are looking over him up there until I can get there!

This morning, when I woke up, I did not want to get out of bed.  I seriously debated sleeping all through the day until tomorrow arrived.  I did not feel good at all.  I did not get much sleep, my throat has been so sore, and I have been running a slight fever everyday this week, not to mention the cramps and twinges that I have been having in my lower abdomen.  BUT, my wonderful fiance mentioned pancakes.  And, I wanted some.  So, I got out of bed.

I got a cup of coffee, and shortly after I woke up, my fiance started making pancakes, which most of them turned out disastrous.  {Let me just mention, he is awesome at making pancakes, so this was unusual.  We think we need new pans!}  But, he did get one pancake to turn out okay.  And, that was all I needed.

My horrible cutting skills, but this is Bo's 2 month Angelversary pancake that we shared.

After eating pancakes, I went back to bed.  I napped for about 3 to 4 hours, when I woke up sobbing.  I had a horrible dream, where I was so upset and sad about today, and I had nobody to talk to.  It seemed like nobody cared or wanted to listen to me.  Then, a women (that I do not know) grabbed me and hugged me.  She was talking to me, telling me everything is okay, and she helped me to feel better.  When she hugged me and was talking to me, I immediately thought of the support groups that I have joined and all of the other BLMs that I have connected with.  I thought about how they all make me feel better.  How I do not know these women, but they are able to give me hugs (virtual hugs, but they are still hugs) and talk to me, encourage me, support me, and comfort me.  So, even though I was still crying, upset, and disoriented, I was also calm, at ease, and felt very peaceful.

Tonight, I decided to take pictures of the moon and Jupiter and Bo's candle.  Something that really calmed me down.  I am forewarning you, there is a picture frenzy below!

Jupiter is top-right of the moon.  I noticed after I took the pic and was looking over them, the swirlies in the bottom-left of the picture.  It made me think of an Angel flying around up there.

 

The best picture I got of the moon and Jupiter.  The wind was blowing so hard, and it was chilly, so I was shaking.  So that is why all of the others are so blurry and swirly!

Zoomed in and cropped the best picture, so that the moon and Jupiter are more visible.

Bo's candle sitting by a tree.

With the flash.

 Dear Bo,

Mommy and Daddy love and miss you very much!  We can't wait until we can meet you, see you, touch you, hug you, kiss you, and talk to you!  Until that day, please watch over us, keep us safe, and guide us where we need to go!

We love you, Bo, our perfect Angel!

One Month

Today is my baby's one month Angelversary.

I cannot believe it has been one month since my miscarriage.  It seems like it just happened yesterday.

On 12.12.12, Justin and I decided we wanted to enter our baby's name into the Book of Life at The Shrine of the Holy Innocents.

Since I was only 12 weeks pregnant, we do not know what the sex of the baby is.  So, we chose a name that we both liked.  We named our baby Bo Ortiz {I know both guys and girls named Bo, and the initials B.O. kept coming up because we always called the baby "Baby Ortiz," hence the name Bo}.

{Bo's Certificate of Life}

{Bo's Christmas stocking, crocheted heart, bracelet, and angel, heart rock, and candle}